It's a Wrap! My Voter Fraud Helped Obama to Victory!

Congratulations to Barack Obama and this whole country for getting off their azzes and voting.

I was at my polling place at 6:45am this morning to get in line. And even though I had registered weeks in advance and I had called to make sure my name was registered, I was NOT on their list. They told me to vote with a "provisional" ballot. Provisional is Latin for "does not count."

I wasn't feeling the idea of a provisional vote, so when the volunteer voting guy wasn't looking, I slipped my ballot into the regular voting box instead of into the pink provisional envelope he had prepared for me. And then I dipped with a quickness. Suckas!!

Voter fraud is EZ like Sunday morning. After my success at my home polling place, I went to four others in my county and did the same thing before rolling into work at 10:30am and complaining about how there had been "a long line." I guess it was "wrong," but it was for a good cause. And if they really want to prevent fraud, maybe instead of manning polling places with teenagers and elderly retirees they should call in the Coast Guard or some Chinese Olympic performers or someone who knows how to run a tight operation.

One of the old-school ballots I cast is pictured above. I wish I had also taken a picture of one of the adorable low-tech cardboard privacy booths. But you'll get the same idea from this video of Atlanta Hawks point guard Acie Law, voting in Georgia circa 1968.



UPDATE: At least one person has taken me seriously, awesome! I hope she doesn't click on the other posts in the "MY FELONIES" tag.